Conversation: Observe, Share, Ask

Lessons

1. 1Observe, Share, AskLesson M04-L1 · about 7 minutesBuild an OSA turn from a real observation, a genuine share and an open question.
2. 2From interview to conversationLesson M04-L2 · about 7 minutesTurn a run of questions into a reciprocal conversation by sharing between questions and following up on answers.
3. 3Going a little deeperLesson M04-L3 · about 7 minutesMove a conversation gradually from facts to values and enthusiasms, at a pace she matches.
4. 4People are often liked more than they thinkLesson M04-L4 · about 6 minutesExplain the liking gap, and judge a conversation by what happened rather than by your worry.

Video summary

All videos

Exercises that go with these lessons

• Observe, share, ask · follows lesson M04-L1Observe, Share, Ask: three builds3 items, about 6 minutes
• Observe, share, ask, Articulation · follows lesson M04-L2From interview to conversation: three rewrites9 items, about 12 minutes
• Observe, share, ask · follows lesson M04-L3Going a little deeper: three builds3 items, about 6 minutes
• Evidence check · follows lesson M04-L4People are often liked more than they think: three checks3 items, about 5 minutes

Go further

Talks, videos and pages by the people whose ideas these lessons discuss, matched to the topics the lessons cite. They are outside this site, and nothing from them loads until you follow a link. A link is not an endorsement; read the note under each one.

• Vanessa Van Edwards: 10 Quirky Questions to Ask On Your Next Date

  Video · leaves this site for youtube.com

  Example open-ended, curiosity-led questions to ask on a date, relevant to responsiveness and to restarting a conversation that has stalled.

  Keep in mind. Light entertainment format; questions are prompts, not a technique that guarantees liking.

• Bobby Rio: 5 "Nice Guy" Conversation Mistakes to AVOID

  Video · leaves this site for youtube.com

  Bobby Rio on conversation habits that undermine engagement, per the title; relevant to engaged versus merely polite behaviour and to conversational re-engagement.

  Keep in mind. Commercial dating coach; 'nice guy' framing is contested and the channel also carries manipulation-style content the app must not teach.

• Jeffrey Hall (University of Kansas): Research defines more behaviors that reveal romantic attraction

  Web page · leaves this site for news.ku.edu

  University summary of Hall's study of 51 stranger pairs coding verbal and nonverbal flirting behaviours (leaning forward, nodding, compliments, questions) by self-reported flirting style.

  Keep in mind. News release summarising self-reported behaviours; effect sizes and sample details are in the paper.