Texting, silence and re-engagement

Lessons

1. 1Pattern, not stopwatchLesson M19-L1 · about 7 minutesRead trajectory and reciprocity across several exchanges instead of one reply delay, and treat a text as an opportunity for interaction, never a way to create interest.
2. 2When a thread cools: eight questionsLesson M19-L2 · about 7 minutesWhen a thread seems to cool, answer the eight cooling questions from what is on the screen and choose among six outcomes: Maintain, One light follow-up, Clarify, Make one invitation, Allow space, Disengage.
3. 3One clean follow-up, then let it restLesson M19-L3 · about 7 minutesUse the course definition of ghosting, send at most one light follow-up where the context supports it, never a growing run of messages, and choose steadying yourself over trying to win someone back.
4. 4After the date: six situationsLesson M19-L4 · about 7 minutesTell apart six post-date situations and three cancellation signals, and treat an alternative she offers as more informative than the cancellation itself.
5. 5Friends, exes and honest choicesLesson M19-L5 · about 7 minutesTreat friendship as a full relationship, not a malfunctioning romance: say romantic interest once and accept the answer; and before contacting an ex, weigh the reason for the breakup, whether contact is welcome, any request for no contact, and your purpose.
6. 6The "exact text" mythLesson M19-L6 · about 7 minutesJudge texting advice by context and existing interest rather than wording: audit a promise of an exact text, treat who carries a thread as information rather than a goal to hit, and write messages in your own voice.

Video summary

All videos

Exercises that go with these lessons

• Texting · follows lesson M19-L1Pattern, not stopwatch: exercises6 moments, about 12 minutes
• Texting · follows lesson M19-L2When a thread cools: eight questions: exercises3 moments, about 6 minutes
• Texting · follows lesson M19-L3One clean follow-up, then let it rest: exercises5 moments, about 10 minutes
• Texting · follows lesson M19-L4After the date: six situations: exercises6 moments, about 12 minutes
• Texting · follows lesson M19-L5Friends, exes and honest choices: exercises5 moments, about 10 minutes
• Evidence check · follows lesson M19-L6Evidence check: the "exact text" myth5 items, about 10 minutes

Go further

Talks, videos and pages by the people whose ideas these lessons discuss, matched to the topics the lessons cite. They are outside this site, and nothing from them loads until you follow a link. A link is not an endorsement; read the note under each one.

• Marni Kinrys: Boldness and Creepiness Aren't Separated by What You Say. It's What You Do After.

  Video · leaves this site for youtube.com

  Kinrys's argument that boldness differs from creepiness by what a man does after seeing the other person's reaction, per the title; supports noticing and adjusting.

  Keep in mind. Coach's opinion in a commercial channel; the app must add that persistence after a no is never acceptable.